Imagination, it's all we need....

So have had an idea for my #NANoWriMo concept, which is a good first step... writing 50,000 words of bullshit is a bigger step.

I could write an un-authorised auto-biography for the oracle and my fictional band, though I need the details from her, since she was the one to write it down...

So Discord, please email them through?

I think I will write it from the perspective of the body double for my part of the band. Which should be fun and allow me to make fun of myself plenty. Plenty of meta-fiction and self references and in-jokes.

And yes, I forget the name of the band.... or my character, or anything....

I did however find my notebook from those years at uni so i have my songs all written out, if somewhat un-worked. Also reading through my notebooks (avoiding the ex-girlfriend years) gave me some hope at being able to write... I mean I write poorly and my skill level is pitiful, but it means I can do it... It gave me hope....

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire

Home today, to sore for work... stupid marathon, why did i run it? Oh yeah shiny... Apparently The Red Lady of Lin is to blame. Her effots in the half marathon many moons ago inspired my lady to also set herself the goal of doing the half-marathon, which lead directly to her desire for the shiny medals, given she didn't get one and all the marathon runners did.

The marathon itself was a roller-coaster of emotion... the mind playing tricks before the event with the "do we really want to get up at 3am just to run 42km?" to the pre-start high of excitement. The start of a bit of boredom about 1hr into the event with the realisation you will be out here for at least 4 more (or 5 more as the case turned out to be.) The annoyance at my body for needing to pee every drink station, the tiredness of the hills on the devonport side, and the bridge which goes up and up... The worst was to come, 30km mark the legs started to fail, pain through my knees and hips when I ran, cramps in my calves and thighs when I walked. I kept myself moving, despite the very real desire to pull out, mostly thanks to Karen and her desire to keep going. Somehow I made it back along the water front, back to victoria park and the finish line, with the joy and near-tears of completing the marathon, with the knowledge I need never do that again.



Other things that have happened this past week is NumberNine trying to convince me to sign up to #NaNoWriMo, the NAtional NOvel WRIters MOnth, where you challenge is to write a 50,000 word novel in a month. He seems to be committed (as committed as he gets) to a post-modern semi-fictonal account of his life... I was wondering if i could write a meta-fictional commentry on his novel, though really I have less time than him to do it.... I was just considering using the excuse of #NaNoWriMo to work on my other projects instead.... I shall think about it...

Legs = Pain

So today I ran 42km in 6hrs 12min... what did you do?

Somethimes I can't remember why we decided to do this, and then through the pain swims the word "shiny." We did it because we are magpies and wanted the shiny medal that you get at the end, and the satisfaction to say you have done it, that I, Adam Schofield, along with my beautiful Fiance, Karen Li, ran the Auckland Marathon.

Excuse me whilst I die a little more

Today is the greatest day I have ever really known

So this is a bit late, but z0mG! Smashing Pumpkins were teh awesome live! Went and saw them at the Town Hall last Tuesday, and they were mind blowing... The whole thing was a fun time, bounced along and yelled out the lyrics to all the songs I knew... Today, Bullet with Butterfly Wings, Eye, Stumbline, Ava Adore.... everything, so so good... set list here

The whole thing made me wish I had been able to see them live when the original band was together...

I’ve been working on another project, mostly inspired by my oracle and her reminiscing, as well as NumberNine reminding me about TVTropes.... One of the greatest wastes of time ever! Anyway I was putting people from Uni into our appropriate 5 man band slot... I think NumberNine was talking about this a few months back, though he was talking about one of his current 5 man band as opposed at an old historic one... but I am more about the past.. well more our last year at uni...

Anyway, discussion if you want, but my original thoughts are:

• Hero – Me (I mean I am the hero of my own story, I did consider to cast me as something else but still...)
• Lancer – Nick (though maybe my Oracle instead?)
• The Smart Guy – Mark (though I have considered him as an atypical ‘Big Guy’ which would make Nick as the Smart guy...)
• The Big Guy – Em (though maybe Mark instead, or of course Ben, which adds
• The Chick –Emran (so totally Emran...)
• Others:
• Mentor – Brian

I haven’t thought of tropes for others yet...

Of course the real issue is that a few of us can fit into multiple slots, I am Hero, maybe Lancer, and maybe The smart guy, and a little bit of the chick (though not as much as Emran.) That said if I substitute Ben for Mark then that takes up the blatant The Big Guy slot, which means of the people left Nick is a better The Smart Guy and Em is my Lancer.

Of course this changes a bit if I drop off the hero slot and take up either The Smart Guy or The Lancer (I will drop the big guy for the rest of this thought experiment I think). If We put Nick into the hero slot (and let’s be honest it is where he thinks he is,) then either Emran or I take up the Lancer slot, the other takes the Smart Guy and Em becomes The Chick (which possibly says a lot about my view on Nick’s view of the world.) With Emran as the hero things become a bit more weird, I think I become the Chick in that case, Emma is the Big guy, and Nick the Smart Guy, with all of us being the Lancer. Finally with Emma as the Hero, I become the Lancer, Nick is the Smart guy and Emran the chick.

I do wonder if we could fit into slots and leave the hero slot free?

It is an idea that possibly needs further work.... along with some other concepts....

I had a dream...

And it was a weird dream, but I feel the need to try and write about it before it disapears from memory.

The dream was about me reading a book and living my life and somehow the two got mixed up, as in that was the reality of the dream, not that the dream turned that way. The 'reality' part was weird too, we were living in a strange city at homestays, but it was myself, my love, my oracle and hers. I think others too but I can't remember. The J-Boy was trying to find us for some reason but kept missing us (some of the dream was from his point of view)

The book bit was a fantasy, and a kingdom had been at civil war and the upsurpers had nearly won, taking most of the land and capturing, then beheading, the king. All that was left was a raggerd army, the capital city and the Kings young-ish daughter (technical queen) who everyone loved. Somewhow by reading the story I was part of the story and could choose sides, and I chose the side of the royalists to protect the little queen (who looked asian.)

We won't go into any analysis of my brain over that...

Anyway at the end of the story the royalists won and i was back in reality where I was going out on the town with everyone. There we discovered J-boy who had be tracking us... and had a flash back showing all the things he had been doing... The next morning i discovered that the young queen from the book i had read had killed herself and the last person to talk to her was monster manual pg 117, which was random in itself, let alone the plot of the book continuing after I had finished reading it. This was all so amazing I tried to tell someone but no one would listen....

And then I woke up, wrote most of this down this morning and finished it this afternoon when my keyboard decided to play nice....

Form becomes shape becomes thought....

Ok so I remember to post again... I totally do that, this posting thing.... honest...

Anyway I had intended to do a slightly more political post about Mr Henry and also the Super-Mayoral race, though in both cases I have procastinated too long and real life have taken care of them for me... Not that it doesn't deserve a review.

Mr Henry

Is an idiot, which is about all that needs be said. It does worry me that TVNZ have recieved around 3000 emails and letters of support for the racist, claiming he is a good non-PC guy.... Or you know, a racist. It concerns me that NZers seem to think that these sorts of comments are ok, that it is what is done... Of course it is defended by people saying "when is it the white males time" and such like, like us White males have had a bad time of it or something... When we look at the previous Governer-Generals that NZ has had, we have the current NZ born Indian male, then a NZ Born white female, a NZ born white male, a NZ born white female and then NZ born White males back to 1967 and before that Brittish white males. So when will NZ pick a 'kiwi bloke'? only every time save 3 appointments since 1967. Note the lack of Maori Governor-Generals, or Polynesian, or east-asian, all ethnic constituants of NZ, and signifigant ones at that... but they don't get to be GG. Should they whine like little girls too? It's not like the GG does anything of great use, or at least in normal transmission of services... He just greets people and smiles and waves and hosts parties (and maybe a few more things.) Is it not ok that some of our more mis-represented ethnic groups get to have a person that looks like them be in the job? Does it not increase our appearance of diversity and harmony?

Not that I would expect bigots to understand...

As far as you take me, thats where I beleive

I had a rant to post, and I should have logged in and written it, or something, whatever... In the end apathy as always restricted my actions and I left with an empty page, whithering as the ages pass, eternity creeping ever closer...

I have been meaning to write more on 'For Love and Country' or even 'Emperor' though I haven't (see previous paragraph) I have been meaning to do many things, but I don't.

Sometimes I wonder at my own apathy, watch as I waste away the time not doing that which is needed to do, or at least that which I need to do away from work, one of the few places I do not bow to the laziness, or at least not all the time...

I still haven't written about the proposal, and I will eventually, and I should write about the trip more, though I have been back for nearly 2 weeks so it won't be posts for a travel blog now, just musings...

I have no more, and I want no more, and I die no more....

Away I must flee, my oracle waits, my oracle waits...

Travel blog and apathy

So 16 days ago i landed in Hong Kong, home of my beloved and all round great city. Within a few days I had changed my world and also thought I should write in my blog more about the fun times in HK, mostly inspired by a post by Abdullah Emran Yousuf.

However as can be seen my semi-(im)famous apathy has shown up and it has taken me till now, 5 days till I return home (or leave home depending on my mood) to actually write anything, which sort of doesn't help with the writing useful information about my trip, or the information being written being correct.

Luckily due to facebook there is a reasonable dialog on certain events, even if it is a bit lacking in true dimensions.

Other adventures has been our recent trip to Taiwan, to the home city of a good friend and Kenting. The trip was fun, tiring and generally annoying all rolled into one. Good fun because it was overall a fun trip filled of enjoyable moments and good times. Tiring as most nights I didn't get to sleep until midnight or after, and had to wake up at 7am or earlier. Annoying because Karen's family, and especially her father, tends to treat both of us like kids; The 8 (+2 kids) Chinese out-voted me on things like dinner menu's so I hardly got to eat as most things were not tasty to me; Taiwan is entirely Chinese writing and mandarin speaking, neither of which I can understand, at least in HK English is an official language and so names of shops and menus are mostly in English as well as Chinese, and shop assistants can speak English (mostly) and those that don't speak Cantonese, something I can at least somewhat understand (if poorly.) Also it appears in south Taiwan white folk are not common, so all the locals had to have a good stare as I walked past.

On a side note I was quite disappointed in the completely respectable dress code of the young females in south Taiwan, the number of midriffs I counted totaled to exactly one outside of the beach we went to, and even there most were somewhat modestly attired, though there were 2 which will live in memory for being especially skimpy in their bikinis, one which made Karen smile cause the scantily cad skank gave Karen a look because I averted my eyes as she walked past, which didn't sit well with said skank. I was upset because my video camera ran out of battery just as said skank walked into it's field of vision.

Added to my annoyance was Karen's dad's continued desire to be somewhat subservient to his younger brother (who, with his family, came with us.) Which meant that things which they were not interested in got only a brief stay at, and also generally were the things I was interested in, such as historical sites, interesting Confucian temples and other things the engineer in me whated to study further. Of course given my 'child' status my desires were not given much measure when compared to the uncle's.

There is of course large areas of backstory, reasons, excuses and generally universal constants to all of this, but it is too much and too long to go into...

If I find the time I will write again about more happenings, and maybe write something on the main event as well...

It was only a kiss, how did it end up like this?

I tried to change the look of my blog yesterday, and have somewhat destroyed the look I had when I tried to put it back together because the changes just didn't work, at all...

This has annoyed me some more, though has shifted the focus of my annoyance, which is good.

I have also noted that I haven't started my 30 songs in 30 blogs yet, though I might wait for when I return from my overseas journey... Or maybe till eternity falls...

This life is too good to last and I'm too young to care

I am annoyed, though I don't know if I am annoyed with the thing, the word, the way or the thought, which makes me more annoyed. What ticks me off more is I don't know which part instigated the others, did the thing set on the way that set up the thought which formed the word? Or did the word give rise to the thought which made the way to the thing?

Do I blame myself for this puzzle? Or do I seek absolution in the bird calls of the morning? Maybe the raven's croak will give the answers?


In any event it doe not really matter, the thing, the way, the word or the thought will all be resolved in time, one way or another.


In other news I am considering setting up other blogs from which to post writings on the different projects I sometimes wish would get done, which may push towards actually doing things on them. Though more likely they will just sit blank and unused except for the initial posts I may or may not create. Even more likely is that the concept will just sit in my head and not be done...

Sometimes action is required to complete an action...

In other news 8 days to go!

Differences of opinion

Last week I was going to post in here a small story of the Fool and the Jester (though in this case only the Fool,) after which this blog is named. In the end I didn't post it because it didn't feel finished and I was unsure how to polish it better, though maybe posting it in some form would be a way to give it some polish after letting it see the light of day...

It did make me think about Emperor (for which the Fool and the Jester are for, though more as background), and also For Love and Country. My two rather non-completed works of fictional fiction :p Sometimes I wonder if I could find the creativity, patience and time to actually finish them into something readable and enjoyable.

In other news I am tempted to take up Starcryer's challenge though I don't know if I could post 30 days in a row... maybe just 30 songs in 30 posts.... though I will actually have to think about some of them... Like all of them...

I should make Number Nine take the challenge too...

First and foremost I need to share a link, for those at least who are not Abdullah Emran Yousuf or someone he has already told... so possibly no-one...However if he hasn't gotten to you first, please for the love of all that is good and holy read this.... It is just too good. If you don't like it we can't be friends... ever... ok maybe that is an over the top sort of statement... maybe we aren't friends anyway cause you are some random viewer, but if you don't like it then I will find you, become your friend then un-friend you...

Anyway this is a fan-fic that is unlike any other fan-fic, in that it is actually good. It is a fan-fic of Harry Potter which may actually be better than the original (sorry JKR) and is currently absorbing all my time like some super massive black hole (sorry SH.) The only issue I have with it is that I think that the point I am up it seems to be talking bad of Cho, and I like Cho (for obvious reasons.) It also connects the start of this rant to something I have been thinking about recently.

As most people know I have issues with the past, and it may not be a surprise that I sometimes live in the past, despite the goodness of the present. The desire to use this blog more than the other one is that the other is deeply rooted in the past and I seem to only write about the past in it, or only write when the past is weighing deeply on my mind. However this time I have (somewhat purposefully) cast my reminiscing back further to an event which I have always been disappointed in my choice, and thinking about it makes me realise how great a certain person in my life was, and how I must of disappointed him at the time. I speak of my father and the time just before the turn of the previous decade when I was debating how to get my first actual car. Mum, in her infinite wisdom, argued for me to get a loan (cause of course learning to borrow was such a good lesson for me) and buy one second hand. At the time she had good reasons for this and I listened like a good mothers-boy and went out, found myself a car, talked to the bank and got the money and then traded said money for the car. That car forms such wonderful memories for me and others that it is ingrained into the feelings for the years it formed a part of my life. However just about any car would of fulfilled this job, which makes me wonder more about the alternative I had, that to listen to my father and have a father-son bonding over the restoration of a car he had recently brought to be used as my very own car, an activity that is almost the essence of a father-son bond. Dad being dad did not form arguments about the concept, just merely floated it out one day as a possibility, and did not bring it up again for about a month or two at which time I had already signed the loan documents for the car I did get.

Now the implications of changing the time flow to be the opposite choice to which I took have so many implications. 1) I would of been less indebted to loans, 2) I *may* of learned more about earning a possession as opposed to just borrowing to get it, and 3) I probably would of had an even closer bond with my father. All of which would radically alter who I am, and I wonder if that person would of been a better person overall...

Daily? Who said that?

I meant to make a post last night about the various differences in the groups of people I spend various amounts of time with, albeit that some of more favourite groups tend to have less time spent with that it would be true in a perfect world.

Last night was D&D night, in which I associate with somewhat normal people (yes D&D gamers = normal in my world...) where topics of conversation revolve around babies and marriages and real life applicable topics, like how National is screwing the public for a quick fix.... or at least that is my view point, theirs is more about how wonderfully Mr Key is running a fine ship... It is one of the few sets of people I have such conversations with, even at work I tend to avoid discussions about marriage and babies and such like, because (like with my family) these things tend to fall back into when I will enter into such lifestyle constructs, which are topics I prefer to avoid. The D&D crew also ask these questions, however I can tell them to fuck off, and poor another drink. It is a little harder to do this to your boss, the CEO of the company or one's mother. Not impossible (given I do follow that procedure on occasion,) but harder none the less.

The whole concept, or at least when I was thinking about it last night on the drive home, does bring into contrast my normal group of friends, those I don't hang with as much as I should and are hardly normal in any sense of the word or by anyone's (including our own) definition of the word "normal." There abnormal is common place, and hilarity and hijinks are sure to follow, though less so in more recent times, given my less than perfect attendance record. My more normal and grown-up worlds of D&D, Work and Home do make me miss such hijinks in some ways, and none of us are probably grown up enough to be out of such 'childish' antics.

That said next year I will be back at Uni with any luck, albeit on the company's time, which should help with some opportunity for some Hijinks, depending on which of the fellow hijinkers will still be at uni completing their respective desires, 1 at least will be finished I am guessing? Unless she decides to do more post grad, and she possibly is a masochist, and the other... he probably will still be there, mostly because he will have nothing better to do... and the others can be dragged in from their work places.... or at least those close enough to be dragged...

That said we will be in our 30's... maybe one day we will realise this...

As I breathe in I am one with everything

Zen game par excellent! p0nd thanks to Em once more, via her Google Reader Feed.... Can't help but love it... A bit of a twist at the end... and am unsure if I can do better... will have to try some more...

Does make me want to go watch Life again... maybe go find the 2nd season.... Which reminds me, Tuesday night = Fringe season 2! About time TVNZ... X(

6.9 km/hr

Not fast, but that was our average speed as we did our first run through the Devonport - Takapuna stage of the Auckland Marathon. For a first look it wasn't bad, though large improvements will be expected before race day...

Now to go see the mother and wish her a happy birthday for the other day.... I am such a good son...

So posting, yeah I do that...

I should of started this (again) about 2 weeks ago (Or a year and 2 weeks, or 10 years and 2 weeks, or any randomly selectable time period) but that said, I am writing now... Maybe writing will make me creative or do some good to me... At least I won't be writing like i do over there at the other one, all depressive like and self-disruptive... That said I haven't written there for some time either...

In any event I have been motivated by two events, 1 the passage of time into a fourth decade of years for the vessel of consciousness that is me and by this, thanks to Emma FRANCES Gallagher (cause i can spell now...) The concept of being like some (semi)-famous writer every time I make a post is quite intriguing... It should be fun... Not to mention when I pretend (badly) that I can write it would be nice to see if I have any consistency... And maybe like my book-whore friend, it can lead me to new and interesting books to read... Though it does, worry, concern, something me that I am essentially copying my good friend.... but meh, that's what friends are for right? Abuse, emotional blackmail and copyright infringement... or something like that...

The other event, the passage of space/time through another milestone, also motivates me... it reminds me that time grows shorter, although it should still be many many steps till the journey ends... I am still getting older, and in theory more responsible. That said these next few years could be the most important of my small and cosmically insignificant life, although locally significant in some small ways...

Three whole decades seems a long time to have lived, laughed, cried and generally run amok on the face of this world. Sometimes it does not seem right, or real, or even imaginary... like it is some other sort of existential construct... if that is the correct terminology to use... and if it isn't, screw you hippy! It is my terminology now sucker!

In any case there is life to be lived and things to be done, one important one to be done in around 6 weeks or so, give or take 3 weeks... and yes it is what you think, and yes I will tell you more later... well maybe... if I post another post...